DRAMA —SERIES A — SECOND SUNDAY AFTER CHRISTMAS
Bible reference - John 1:10–18
MY SELF-IMAGE
Person stands reading a pop-psychology book called ‘Helping Yourself’. Nearby on a chair sits a Bible.
(To audience) I’ve finally got myself worked out!
This book says that my low self-image comes from...(Reads) ‘a lack of parental care’!
(Looks up and smirks) Well, Mum and Dad, you really screwed up this time. To think that if I’d had better parents, then I could’ve been a much better person, you know, a more successful person.
Oh, to think of what I might’ve done if I was brought up properly!
If you had paid more attention to me in my childhood, then I would probably be...(Dreamily) an airline pilot, or a politician...no, not a politician...but maybe a doctor, or even better...a psychologist!
But, no. (Sternly) Dad, you had to work all the time, didn’t you? No time for games, always had those bills to pay. You never saw me win that singing contest when I was eight, did you? You never saw anything, except your work desk, did you?
And what about you, Mum? Cleaning the house day in and day out. Always ironing and washing and washing and ironing. No time to look at my paintings. No time to take me to the park...I was just in the way, huh?
Of course, I’d better be fair. You had to keep busy because we didn’t have much money, did we?
Still, this book (Holds up pop-psychology book) judges you both...guilty! You’re both guilty of ruining my self- esteem. (Triumphantly) If you had done your job properly I wouldn’t be standing here reading a pop-psychology self-help book! (Sheepishly) I...guess...I guess I wouldn’t be standing here talking out loud to myself either.
(Turns and catches a glimpse of the Bible on the chair) And you! What about you! (Picks it up and says mockingly) ‘Honour your father and mother!’ That’s all they taught me in Sunday school! Honour your father and mother? What about me? What about the children, huh? What about the children?
(Walks over to pop-psychology book and pages through it before reading) ‘Many children who grow up without being shown proper parental love find it difficult later in life to show love in return. Various forms of therapy have been shown to help somewhat, while other people go through life they way they lived their formative years — in a continuous cycle of rejection. In other words, those who didn’t get the love they needed when young will almost always continue to suffer when older.’
(Looks up from book with a stark expression on face)...Continue to suffer? (Pages through book) There must be more than this! What answer does this book give? (Still paging) ‘Having a positive mental attitude’, OK . ‘Positive thinking’, sure. ‘Being positively positive’. ‘How to be possibly more positively positive in a positive way’. What?? ‘Smelling the posy of positivism in your personal possession.’
This...is...ridiculous! (Holds book at arms’ length, glaring at it) Aaaaaaaaaaaargh!!! (Hurls book away)
Stupid book!...Where does that leave me now?
All the positive thinking in the world won’t help you if you feel...you know...like you don’t matter to anyone.
(Wanders over to Bible, opening it at random. Reads) ‘Even a live dog is better off than a dead lion’. What’s that supposed to mean? I’ll try again. (Opens at random again) ‘...he shouted, ‘Your great learning is driving you insane’.’ Oh, this isn’t working, but I’ll give it one more go. Surely this book says something about children! (Opens at random)
Maybe I’ll try this one. (Picks out a verse) ‘He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognise him.’ Ah, this is about Jesus, I remember.
Now let’s see what else it says. ‘He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.’ I know what that means, he was rejected. I know what that feels like.
‘Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become the children of God...’ (Stares at page for a moment, then looks up)
‘Children of God...’ It sounds great. ‘Children of God’.
I wonder what sort of parent God is?...I wonder...if...I actually matter to him?...I wonder...
(Walks away still thinking)
© Tim Oestmann 1998
Permission is given for the owner of this disk to make sufficient copies of this script for their group or congregation, for rehearsal and performance puposes only.
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