R:

Well, welcome everyone.  I’m very excited to introduce you to the editor, Crystal Newage, of the latest magazine to hit the shelves of our best newsagents.  It’s called World Wise.  Welcome, Crystal. (Someone holds ‘applause’ card up to audience)

C:

Thank you, Ray-ann.  We believe the time is right for producing this magazine.  The world has come a long way in the last few decades. We’ve learnt from our mistakes and we believe all the answers are now available to us.  We just need to bring that collective wisdom together.  So now through our magazine our readers can keep abreast of what’s really important.

R:

Hence the name ‘World Wise’.

C:

Yes.  We bring all the latest wisdom from all over the world.

R:

That’s huge.

C:

Yes, we have our reporters based in all the right places.  Paris, London, Rome, New York.  We have reporters living in monasteries in Burma, with the penguins and whales in the antarctic, and with the natives in the Amazon.

R:

Wow!  I see here (Looking at clipboard) you cover an interesting range of topics.

C:

Yes, apart from our features we have some important regular sections.  We have an Image section, an Intellectual section and  a Harmony section.

R:

Do tell more!

C:

Well, we believe Image is essential.  You need to keep it healthy, up-beat, and totally cool.  Keeping abreast of the latest clothes, hairstyles, make-up, skin care, exercise, and music is vital.  They are the very basics upon which your acceptance and success lies.  Really, you can’t hope for success and happiness without them.

R:

How wise!

C:

In our Harmony section we keep readers in tune with their bodies, their inner universe and their environment.  With the dawn of the new millennium, we are seeing the spiritual wisdom of thousands of years drawing together and leading us to wholeness!

R:

Yum.

C:

We also focus on the latest meditation techniques.  We interview all the hurus and gurus.  We even tell you how to harmonise your home.  And how we can spiritually connect with our garbage, for instance, so that we can become one with our recycling.

R:

Sounds fascinating.

C:

We also include an Intellectual section.  We believe dignity comes from knowledge.  We inform all our beautiful and vital readers of all the latest courses and workshops.  We keep them informed of what the most respected and successful professions are.  In other words, what letters you need after your name if you really want to be taken seriously.

R:

Maybe I should be going back to university?

C:

Oh, if you’re a star on TV, you’re already taken seriously, darling.  You, of course don’t need any other qualifications.  You’re instantly recognised as one the beautiful, happening,  informed people.

R:

Why, thank you.

C:

You’re welcome.

R:

Well, I wish you all the very best with your new magazine. World Wise.  What a wonderful enlightening way to keep in touch with what’s important.   I know I’m certainly look forward to reading it.  Thank you, Crystal, and good luck. (Shake hands)

C:

Thank you, darling.