DRAMA — SERIES A —1 EPIPHANY, Baptism of our Lord
Bible reference - Matthew 3:13–17
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
(Pharisee enters with wife following him, nagging him)
WIFE: (Annoyed) So where have you been all afternoon?
PHARISEE: (Evasive) Down by the river Jordan.
WIFE: Catch anything?
PHARISEE: No, we weren’t fishing.
WIFE: So, what were you doing all afternoon?
PHARISEE: Just hanging around with the guys!
WIFE: Yeah, right! Come on, out with it!
PHARISEE: Just talking and enjoying the sun and seeing the sights...
WIFE: Oh, don’t tell me...you were hassling that guy again!
PHARISEE: What guy?
WIFE: Don’t you act evasive with me! You’ve been annoying that desert man again. Why don’t you just leave him alone?
PHARISEE: He’s weird!
WIFE: So? Let him be. Who says you’re not a teensy bit weird sometimes?
PHARISEE: You know what I mean! All that camel hair coat stuff and eating locusts and wild honey. It’s crazy!
WIFE: (With a significant look at Pharisee’s stomach) He’s probably healthier than you.
PHARISEE: Maybe, but it’s not normal. And then baptising people in the river!
WIFE: What’s wrong with that?
PHARISEE: Well, when we asked him to baptise us, he refused!
WIFE: That’s because you weren’t serious.
PHARISEE: No. It was because we wouldn’t ‘repent’! Repent of what? I asked!
WIFE: Look, just leave the guy alone! Let him be. He’s not doing any harm.
PHARISEE: Not doing any harm?? Like fun! There were hundreds of people down there, all getting baptised and loving it!
WIFE: Well, good on them.
PHARISEE: And he called us a ‘brood of vipers’!
WIFE: Yes, there is that.
PHARISEE: There’s more.
WIFE: What do you mean ‘there’s more’?
PHARISEE: There was another guy.
WIFE: Another guy?
PHARISEE: They seemed to be discussing who was going to baptise whom.
WIFE: What? I thought the weird guy did it all.
PHARISEE: This other guy was that new teacher. ‘Jesus’ they call him.
WIFE: Oh yeah, I’ve heard of him. They’re all flocking to him, apparently.
PHARISEE: Yeah, well he made John baptise him.
WIFE: So?
PHARISEE: Well, it’s what happened after!
WIFE: What?
PHARISEE: He came up out of the water and...
WIFE: And what?
PHARISEE: Well, it was like a looming thunderstorm and then a dove kind of hovered over his head...
WIFE: (Raising eyebrows in disbelief) Oh?
PHARISEE: Well, then there was this voice from heaven!
WIFE: Oh, come on! This is all too ridiculous! Sure you weren’t out in the sun too long?
PHARISEE: No! It really was a voice and it said...
WIFE: What! You heard what it said?
PHARISEE: Yes, let me finish!...It said, ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am pleased’.
WIFE: Son? Who’s son?
PHARISEE: That’s just it, I don’t know.
WIFE: Well, I’ll be blowed!
PHARISEE: It’s all got to stop! It’s getting out of hand! (Starts to exit)
WIFE: It sure is eerie...(Notices he’s leaving) Hey, where are you off to now? You’ve been gone all day!
PHARISEE: (Stops) We’re going back to check it out.
WIFE: What about tea?
PHARISEE: We’ve got to try and keep some order. (Starts to exit again)
WIFE: Hey! You might end up repenting!
PHARISEE: Very funny! (Exit, wife follows)
© Bev Dickeson
Permission is given for the owner of this disk to make sufficient copies of this script for their group or congregation, for rehearsal and performance purposes only.
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