NURSE:

(Looking up) Can I help you?

PATIENT 1:

I’d like to see the doctor.

NURSE:

What seems to be the problem?

PATIENT 1:

I have severe lacerations of the underarms and legs!

NURSE:

Hmm, nasty. How did this come about?

PATIENT 1:

I cut myself shaving.

NURSE:

(Shocked) You cut yourself shaving!!! What were you using, a chainsaw?

PATIENT 1:

No. I was using my husband’s new cutthroat. It must have been too sharp.

NURSE:

Sounds like you weren’t too sharp. Surely you must have seen you were cutting yourself badly.

PATIENT 1:

That’s just it. I couldn’t see what I was doing.

NURSE:

Was your mirror broken?

PATIENT 1:

No. It was just too dark inside.

NURSE:

Well, didn’t you use the light in the bathroom?

PATIENT 1:

(The light dawns) Oh, what a good idea. I didn’t think of that.

NURSE:

(Rolling eyes) Lady, take my advice. If you plan to continue shaving in the dark, and not use the light, this sort of thing is bound to happen. Go into one of the rooms, the doctor will see you shortly.

NURSE:

Yes, what seem to be your problem?

PATIENT 2:

I would like to see the doctor.

NURSE:

Well, that much is obvious, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. What is wrong with you?

PATIENT 2:

I have suffered severe trauma to my leg.

NURSE:

What exactly do you mean?

PATIENT 2:

I broke my leg.

NURSE:

Could I be so bold as to inquire how?

PATIENT 2:

Certainly.

NURSE:

(After a pause) OK, how did it happen?

PATIENT 2:

I tripped over my lounge suite.

NURSE:

Well, that was a bit silly. Didn’t you see it there?

PATIENT 2:

No, it was dark in the room.

NURSE:

Why didn’t you use the light?

PATIENT 2:

I don’t need the light. I can get by alright without it.

NURSE:

(Pointing to leg) Try telling that to your leg.

PATIENT 2:

Oh that, that’s nothing. I’ll just get the doctor to look at it and I’ll get back home.

NURSE:

(Rolling eyes again) Well, just go into one of the rooms. I’m sure we’ll see you again real soon...and again and again.

NURSE:

Oh no. No another one! What happened to you—light not on?

PATIENT 3:

(Mumbles inaudibly through bandages.)

NURSE:

(Motions for patient to speak into ear.)  You have contusions to the head, lacerations to the body, compound fracture of the arm and partial decapitation of the foot! How did this happen?

PATIENT 3:

(Mumbles into ear.)

NURSE:

You hit a train!...at a level crossing?

PATIENT 3:

(Mumbles in ear.)

NURSE:

You saw the light, but you ignored it...you always ignore the light. It holds you up too much. (Looks at patient in disbelief) If you continue you on like that, you won’t have much holding you up at all in the future.

PATIENT 3:

(Mumbles in ear.)

NURSE:

You don’t care about the future, as long as you get where you are going. Well then, you can get going to the examination room and the doctor will see you some time in the future.

NURSE:

Well, hello, it’s good to see a normal person around here for a change. Can I help you?

PATIENT 4:

I need help.

NURSE:

What’s wrong with you?

PATIENT 4:

Severe trauma of the conscience, multiple lacerations to the ego, compound fracture of the spirit, and a bruised finger.

NURSE:

What caused all that?

PATIENT 4:

Life...and a car door

NURSE:

Life...and a car door?

PATIENT 4:

Yes.  My conscience has been battered by my mistakes, my ego has been cut to shreds by my failures, my spirit has been broken by a lack of love, my soul is jammed up with feelings of hopelessness, and I caught my finger in the car door yesterday.

NURSE:

You obviously haven’t seen or used the light.

PATIENT 4:

The light? What’s light got to do with me?

NURSE:

I’m talking about the light of the world.

PATIENT 4:

I haven’t even heard of the light of the world.

NURSE:

Well, it’s in here. (Hands over Bible) Read this—it should take care of most of your problems.

PATIENT 4:

Most?

NURSE:

Yes, the doctor will see to your finger right away. Just follow me out to his rooms.