Drama - Year A - Pentecost 23 (Proper 26)

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Drama - Year A - Pentecost 23 (Proper 26)

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DRAMA —23RD SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST, YEAR A

Proper 26, 1999     Bible reference: Matthew 23:1–12

 

THE FIRST SHALL BE LAST

 

CHARACTERS: Tim, Lady Butterworth, man, voice.

 

PROPS:        Chairs, coffee table, magazines.

 

(This play is set in a waiting room, there are some chairs and a coffee table covered with the obligatory magazines, Man and Lady B enter and take up positions. Man is obviously a labourer of some sort and is wearing dirty overalls. He is reading magazine. Lady B is obviously a rich aristocrat and is dressed lavishly. She is standing impatiently looking at watch)

 

TIM:

(Entering) Hello! Been waiting long?

 

LADY B:

No, in fact I just arrived. But then I told my driver not to hurry. I don’t like to be kept waiting.

 

TIM:

Yes, well it looks like we’re in store for a few hours’ wait. Can’t rush it, I suppose. My name’s Tim, by the way, Tim Dober. (Offers hand for handshake, Lady B looks at it disdainfully and ignores it)

 

LADY B:

Darling, you obviously don’t know me! I’m Lady Butterworth, and nobody, nobody, not even Saint Peter himself causes me to waste my time! I’ll clearly be through those pearly gates very shortly. Personally I’ve never liked pearls, diamonds have always been my forte.

 

MAN:

(Putting magazine back on table) I don’t care what your forte is, sweetheart, but I’ve been        here long before you and I’m not letting any stuffy duchess butt in!

 

LADY B:

(Sarcastically) Oh, I do beg your pardon! (Disgusted) Really! (To Tim) I would have thought all the ruffians would have sorted out by now!

 

MAN:

La de dah!

 

TIM:

(Trying to make peace) I’m sorry, ma’am. He doesn’t really mean it. (Continues quickly before man can interject) But actually I don’t know that anyone has gone in first. I think we all find out at the same time. You know, a mass separation.

 

LADY B:

(Appalled) Oh dear! How vulgar! I’ve always had reserved attention. (Opens purse and brandishes a wad of notes.) Do you think a few dollars in the saint’s hands would help?

 

TIM:

I don’t think so, Lady Butterworth.

 

LADY B:

(Putting money back in purse) Hmmm...it always used to work back home...

 

MAN:

(Standing angrily) That’s typical that, ain’t it! Use ya dough for ya own self- advancement. Never hand any down to blokes like us, slaving our guts out...

 

LADY B:

(Interrupting, aghast) Really, this is preposterous!

 

MAN:

(Advancing on Lady B) If anyone deserves to make it through to paradise it’s me! I worked all me life to get somewhere, and all I ever got was dirt in me face.

 

LADY B:

(Turning her back on him in disgust) Well, I’m not really interested...

 

MAN:

No, your sort never are!

 

(They are interrupted by the sound of a bell ringing, or some heavenly music, over loud- speaker)

 

TIM:

I think that signals our judgment.

 

LADY B:

Oh really, couldn’t I slip through now? I would simply die if anyone stood on my precious French design...

 

MAN:

Shhhhh! Listen!

 

VOICE:

Welcome Fred Smith, welcome Anne Brown, welcome Agatha Gates, welcome Siegfried        Himmelhiemer,  welcome Tim Dober. (Tim starts to exit)

 

LADY B:

Where are you going?

 

TIM:

Home. (Exits)

 

LADY B:

(Calling after him) But my name hasn’t been called!

 

MAN:

Or mine either!

 

LADY B:

And they’re not calling any more. Come back immediately! (To man) I’m going to complain to the management!

 

MAN:

This time, I’m with you, lady. (Both exit)

 

LADY B:

(Off stage) What do you mean, the office is closed?!

 

 

© Karen Dymke 1992

 

Permission is given for the owners of this disk to make sufficient copies of this script for their group or church, for rehearsal and performance purposes only.