DRAMA—CHRISTMAS PROPER III, YEAR B
Bible reference: John 1:1-14
CHRISTMAS IS?
CHARACTERS: Nine clowns, or could be done without clowns.
PROPS: Large individual letters spelling the word CHRISTMAS, manger scene (or just a manger with a baby in it), straw, kazoos for each clown, cookies, Santa hat, sunburn cream, can of Coke, tinsel, present, diary/calendar, Mastercard.
Clowns enter enthusiastically and proceed to the stage area playing a rousing tune on kazoos, eg ‘When the saints go marching in’.
They form into a choir formation. One clown acts as choir conductor and conducts the clowns as they play ‘Joy to the world’ on their kazoos. After they have played the tune once, they sing the following version:
ALL: Joy to the world, Christmas has come.
Let everyone go shop.
Buy presents for Muuum, buy presents for Daaad,
And buy presents for me, and buy presents for me,
And buuuuuy presents for me.
Joy to the world, Santa’s in town.
There’s tinsel in the streets.
There’s trees to decoraaate, and lots of cakes to baaake,
And buy presents for me, and buy presents for me,
And buuuuuy presents for me.
Clowns then play another verse on their kazoos as they march around and end up standing in a straight line so their letters form the word CHRISTMAS.
The clowns step forward one at a time to centre stage to say their lines.
It is meant to come across as a competition. As one clown finishes speaking another clown rushes forward and shoves speaking clown out of the way so the he/she can get the centre spot. The letters are presented in the following order:
C:
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C is for Christmas, chocolate, cakes and cookies. (Gets cookie out of pocket) Christmas is a great time to eat heaps and get really fat. (Stuffs cookie in mouth, speaks with mouth full) You can always diet in the new year!
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S:
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No, S is better because S is for Santa (Gets out Santa hat and puts it on head), the big, fat, jolly guy that brings me tons of presents. He’s always going Ho, ho, ho! and Merry Christmas. I hope he doesn’t get stuck in our chimney. Hey, we’ve got ducted heating!
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R:
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Well, Santa can’t go anywhere without R, because R is for (Sings) Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, who had a very shiny nose, just like me! (Points to red clown nose) His nose glowed in the dark. I wish mine could too.
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H:
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Well, H is for holidays, especially at the beach. Every Christmas holidays I go to the beach, build sandcastles (Pulls out sunburn cream) and get a sunburnt nose. (Puts big dob of sunburn cream on clown nose) Ouch!
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I:
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Therefore I is the best because I is for icy cold drinks on those hot holidays. Lots of Coke, (Gets out can of Coke) Fanta, lemonade and beers for Dad. The hangover (Holds Coke can to forehead) is the worst thing.
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T:
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Best of all is T, because T is for toys to play with. I hope I get heaps. T is also for tree. We always have a big one each year. (Pulls tinsel out of pocket and drapes it around neck) I love to put the tinsel on.
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S:
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Well, then you need another S, because S is for sneaking down and peeping at your presents. (Gets present out and pokes, shakes, rattles it as he/she speaks) It’s fun to poke around the tree and shake and rattle your gifts trying to guess what they might be.
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A:
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I like A, because A is for activity. (Gets out diary/calendar) We’re always so busy at Christmas, going to parties, or shopping, or visiting relatives. I’m always so tired. (Yawns) There’s just so much to do!
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M:
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Well, I can see that to do all your things we need M , because M is for money. Getting it is best of all, lots and lots of it to spend on all the things I want. M is also for (Gets out Mastercard) Mastercard to book up a great big bill. So M is the most important!
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All the clowns then start to argue with each other, pushing and shoving, saying their letter is most important. All that is finally heard is a lot of clowns yelling, Me, me, me! A tramp clown enters, watching the fighting clowns. The tramp clown looks sadly at the audience and shakes his/her head. The tramp clown takes some straw from the forgotten manger scene, shows congregation and begins to weep.
The fighting clowns see the tramp clown and what he/she has done. They are embarrassed and ashamed of themselves. The choir director clown instigates a huddle with much whispering.
All the clowns nod and get into position to form the message THIS CHRISTMAS IS A SHAM. CHRISTMAS IS CHRIST using the letters of CHRISTMAS. They rearrange themselves as necessary to form each different word as quickly and smoothly as possible. (This will take some practice).
The conductor clown goes to the weeping tramp clown and tentatively taps him/her on the shoulder. The clowns form the message again. As the tramp clown sees the message he/she stops crying and beams with happiness. Tramp clown then blows nose very loudly.
The conductor clown becomes a choir conductor again and leads all the clowns in singing the first verse of the real ‘Joy to the world’ around the manger scene. The audience can join in singing the rest of the verses as the clowns leave.
Depending on the setting and size of the gathering, pieces of straw could be handed out to people in the audience by the clowns as they move out.
© Di Forster 1992
Permission is given for the owner of this disk to produce sufficient copies of this script for their group or congregation, for rehearsal and performance purposes only.
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