DRAMA—FIFTH SUNDAY AFTER EPIPHANY, YEAR B
Bible reference: Mark 1:29-39
THE THINGS YOU DO TO GET A DECENT MEAL
(Jesus, James and John are sitting around a table)
JESUS:
|
I always look forward to eating here. Simon’s mother-in-law is the best cook this side of Jacob’s well.
|
JAMES:
|
You’re not wrong, Jesus. Do you remember that amazing meal she cooked for us last time when there were only two potatoes and some lentils in the pantry?
|
JOHN:
|
Oh, I certainly do. It was miraculous, don’t you think, Jesus?
|
JESUS:
|
She certainly is a remarkable woman. I’m not a patch on her when it comes to edible tubers. I can only do loaves and fishes! (Others laugh)
|
(Simon walks in with some burnt toast on a plate and puts it on the table)
SIMON:
|
Sorry it took so long...
|
(The others look at the toast and each other dubiously, and make attempts to eat it)
JAMES:
|
Ah...the...er...weather’s been lovely lately, hasn’t it?
|
JOHN:
|
Oh yes, the weather, that (Swallows with difficulty) rough patch we had a few days ago has finally disappeared. (There is an awkward silence)
|
SIMON:
|
All finished, then? I’ll go and get the main course. (Exits with plate)
|
JAMES:
|
Jesus, you have to do something about this.
|
JOHN:
|
Please, Lord, that was terrible. I can’t bear the thought of sitting through a main course...
|
JAMES:
|
Oh, don’t even think about it!
|
JESUS:
|
Shhh! He’s coming back.
|
SIMON:
|
(Entering with an even bigger plate of burnt toast) Here we are, main course, two pieces of toast each. (James and John look at each other horrified)
|
JESUS:
|
You certainly have a way of cooking toast, Simon, that is, I’m certain, unparalleled in all of Judea.
|
SIMON:
|
(Despondently) You think so? Well, if you say so, Lord. (Sits)
|
JESUS:
|
Oh, I’m sure. I haven’t eaten toast like this for a long time, have you James? John?
|
JAMES & JOHN: Oh no, not for a very, very, very long time.
SIMON:
|
(Breaking down, head in hands) Oh, it’s no use pretending, it’s terrible! I can’t even make toast! I just can’t go on anymore...
|
JESUS:
|
There’s no use crying over burnt toast...We all have gifts, you know, and yours just doesn’t lie in the field of culinary expertise, that’s all.
|
JAMES:
|
His mother-in-law’s does, though.
|
JESUS:
|
(Elbowing him) Be quiet, James...
|
SIMON:
|
No, it’s true, she is amazing.
|
JOHN:
|
Well, where is she?
|
SIMON:
|
Don’t get cross at them, I’m missing her cooking too. She’s sick in bed with a fever...and I...(Sobs) I...I’ve been eating burnt toast for three days.
|
JESUS:
|
(Shocked) How long did you say?
|
JESUS:
|
Right! It’s time to do something about this! (Stands up with hands on hips, looking determined) James and John, come, follow me. (James and John stand)
|
SIMON:
|
(Sob) And the marmalade ran out after the first day...
|
JESUS:
|
And you too, Simon, come on...(Simon stands) Where is she? I’ll have her up and about in no time. (To audience as they all move off) The things you do to get a decent meal! (Exit)
|
© Tamson Pietsch 1999
Permission is given for the owner of this disk to make sufficient copies of this script for their group or congregation, for rehearsal and performance purposes only.
|