DRAMA - PROPER 12, YEAR B
Bible reference: John 6:1-15
FISH AND LOAVES
PROPS:
|
Table or bench covered with assorted cooking paraphernalia, telephone, basket
|
(Ophelia, the cook, is busy at a kitchen bench with cooking paraphernalia. She is mixing and singing to herself)
(To audience) Oh, hello there! Welcome to my little enterprise. I call it Ophelia's Kitchen. I'm Ophelia. Would you like a little supper prepared? Maybe a wedding feast? I can help you. Just the other week I catered for a wedding in Cana. Met some interesting people there, I can tell you! The Master was there too! I got to meet him, you know. He actually came out to my kitchen and…well, that's another story. I'll tell you about it some time.
Speaking of the Master, I got a note from him recently. He's ordered a special late night passover supper for 13. Funny thing is he doesn't need it until a year or so's time! Talk about forward planning! I wish some of my other customers were as organized! He made it quite clear that this meal is going to be too important to ignore. Humpf! I'd like to be a fly in the soup for that one!
(Realises what she’s just said) Oh! Please don't worry. I run a tight ship here, it was just an expression! I'd die of shame if anyone suggested there were flies in the soups I make. That's probably why I'm so busy, up at the crack of dawn baking and mixing. It's not dull. I love it, but I do wish my husband would take a bit more interest in the business! (Phone rings)
(Lightly) Ooh! Excuse me, another customer. Just wait there, I'll talk to you in a moment. (Picks up phone, speaks into it)
Hello, Ophelia's Kitchen's. How may I help you? (Pause, then conversationally) Peter! How are you, love? How's the Master? Yes. It is a busy life, isn't it? (Pause) Oh, you want some catering done. OK, just hold on, pet, I'll just get my book.
(About to put phone down but is held up by the other person on the line)
What? Urgent. TODAY! The Master wants to feed a hungry crowd. Oh, yes! Well I know what that's like! You should see my family when they want to be fed, talk about crowds. My goodness! It certainly sounds like you've got a rowdy bunch there! (Laughs) Oh, you're such a tease, Peter, 5000 indeed. No. No. Stop. Peter. Listen, love, please, jokes aside. I need to know just exactly how many people I'm to cook for.
(Pause. A look of total bewilderment) You can't be serious! You really do want me to cater for 5000 people - today? (Looks at audience, totally shocked)
I'm not sure I can help you, Peter, love. You realise you guys wouldn't have enough money to pay for a job this size, besides I just don't have the equipment, let alone the ingredients! Yes, I'll wait, dear.
(To audience, indignant) Would you believe that man! 5000 people today. It's impossible. Not even that scurrilous rogue Greg the pie-maker up the road could do it. (Into phone) Hello, yes, I'm here. That you again, Peter? (Pause, then laughs) Oh Peter, that's very sweet, but 2 fish and 5 loaves would barely feed my family of 4, even if I made fish soup! You can't possibly feed a crowd on that, but do thank the little boy for offering. Yes, yes, I'll wait. (Rolls eyes in frustration)
(To audience) Just wait till I tell you this one. The Master wants me to cater for 5000 people on a hill in the middle of nowhere with a handful of fish and damper. If I could pull that one off I'd make front page of the Galillee Times, and probably win ‘Caterer of the Year’! Ah! If only!
(To phone) Oh, you're back! (Listens) What is going on, Peter? I can hardly hear you for the noise. What's happened?
(Pause) They're all eating! WHAT? BUT HOW DID THE MASTER DO THAT? (Flustered) IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! Stop joking me around, Peter! It can't be true!
(Pause) Matthew, oh, Matthew, tell me, is Peter telling me the truth? He is! (Pause, then incredulous) TWELVE BASKETS! LEFT OVER? BUT THAT'S A MIRACLE!
(Confused, shocked, bemused, breathless) Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. Oh dear. (Hangs up phone) Oh dear. Oh dear.
(To audience) I'm sorry, but I have to go. There are twelve baskets of leftover fish and damper that need my attention. (Gets ready to go)
(To audience) You would never believe me in a million years!
(Grabs a basket and exits)
© 1998 Michelle Pitman
Permission is given for the owner of this disk to make sufficient copies of this script for their group or congregation, for rehearsal and performance purposes only.
|