DRAMA - FOURTH SUNDAY OF EASTER, YEAR C
Bible reference: John 10:25-30
FAULTY HEARING
CHARACTERS: Manuel, Sir and Voice. The characters of Manuel and Sir are based on Basil and Manuel from the series 'Faulty Towers'.
PROPS: Desk covered with papers, phones etc
(Sir is looking very busy at desk, writing, answering phones etc. 'Faulty Towers' theme music could be played)
MANUEL: (Enters in a panic) Sir! Sir! Sir!
SIR: (Without looking up) Go away, I'm busy!
MANUEL: But Sir! But Sir!
SIR: (Frustrated) Look, you imbecile, can't you see I'm busy?
MANUEL: But Sir it's, it's, it's . . .
SIR:
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(Rolling eyes) Oh come on, spit it out, (Goes on with work) some of us have got work to do.
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MANUEL: But you no listen!
SIR:
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Of course I listen. (Holds out his ears) See these ears, they're totally unoccupied. (As if speaking to an idiot) They're all yours! It's only my mind and my hands that are working. (Sarcastically, as he goes back to work) Not that you'd know what work is!
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MANUEL: There's a tick-tock.
SIR: (Momentarily distracted) A Tic Tac?
MANUEL: No, a tick-tock!
SIR:
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Look, I don't care if there's a clock, and thank you so much for completely wasting my time with that totally useless bit of trivial information. (Goes back to work)
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MANUEL: You listen! (Grabs Sir's arm) Run away! Run away!
SIR:
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(Grabs Manuel by lapels) Is there some way I can get it through to that ridiculous, tiny, twisted, foreign brain of yours, (Yells in Manuel's face) THAT I'M BUSY! (Flings Manuel aside)
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MANUEL: (Frantically) But it's going to go ka-boom!
SIR: GO AW . . . AY! (Goes back to work)
MANUEL: It's a bomb!
SIR: (Still working) What are you talking about?
MANUEL: There's a bomb!
SIR: (Muttering under breath) Some one should put a bomb under you.
MANUEL: (Desperately) But there's a bomb.
SIR:
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You silly little man, we don't have bombs in this hotel. Now get lost! (Pushes Manuel away. Goes on with work. Manuel exits frustrated)
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SIR:
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(Through gritted teeth, not looking up from work) What now? I'm busy!
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VOICE:
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Do you know who I am?
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SIR:
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(Still working) I don't care if you're the Lord God Almighty, I've got work to do!
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VOICE:
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Listen, there isn't much time. There's a bomb . . .
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SIR:
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For the last time, there is no bomb! (Looks up) Go (Sees no one there and peters out) . . . away . . . (Looks around, shrugs) Must've left already. At last some piece and quiet. (Starts to go on with work, there is sound FX of an explosion, Sir screams, desk is overturned and Sir finishes up dead underneath it)
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MANUEL: (Enters, looks at Sir's body) See, I told you so! (Exit)
© Reality! Drama Group 1999
Permission is given for the owner of this disk to make sufficient copies of this script for their group or congregation, for rehearsal and performance purposes only.
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