1:

(Enters, clears throat) Er hem, excuse me, I've come to collect my spiritual gift. (Excitedly) I just can't wait to see what it is!

2:

(Reaches down behind counter, produces gift box) Here it is, Mr/Mrs Jones. Take good care of it.

1:

(Excited) Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! (Shakes box) I wonder if it's prophecy? I know, I know it's leadership! (Adopts leadership pose) Or preaching, or counselling (Realises what he/she's said) . . . no, no, no, no, don't want that one!

2:

(Patiently) Why don't you open it and see?

1:

Right! (Opens it) Oh, (Surprised) it's wisdom? I'm not wise. What do you do with wisdom? (Tries saying it differently) Wis . . . dom, wis . . . dom, wisdom. Try to look wise? (Puts on a pair of glasses and acts like Mr Bean) Hello, I'm Mr/Mrs Jones. I'm wise. I'm full of wisdom, do you care for some wisdom? Ask me anything, I have wisdom. (Carries on quietly in background as 3 enters and speaks to 2)

3:

(Looks askance at 1, goes to service counter) Er hem, I think there's been a mistake. I want to return my gift. (Puts gift box on counter) It isn't really me, it doesn't fit me at all, plus it's quite the wrong shape.

2:

How long have you had your gift?

3:

(Casually) Oh, I've had it for years, I've only just unwrapped it.

2:

(Surprised) Have you used it?

3:

Hardly at all, so it's still in really good condition if you want to give it away to someone else secondhand.

2:

(Apologetically) I'm sorry, but we don't take returns. That gift has been given especially to you and if you don't use it, you'll lose it.

3:

But it's faith! Faith! What sort of gift is that? I wanted something with more... um...with more pep and pizazz, like . . . healing! For example when was the last time you heard someone who was sick yell 'Quick bring me the guy/girl with faith?' In fact, when have you ever heard anyone in the church say, 'What we need now is someone with faith?' (Leaning over counter and looking behind it) Are you sure you haven't got any miraculous powers or wisdom or something behind there?

1:

(Interrupting) Wisdom? Did someone say wisdom? I've got the gift of wisdom.

3:

Do you want to swap?

2:

(Shocked) You can't swap gifts!

1:

(Trying to look wise) That wouldn't be very wise.

3:

(Sarcastically to 1) So what do I do with my faith, O wise one?

1:

(Thinking) Well . . . you could use it. (Hesitantly) I could sure use some faith now and then

3:

(Can't believe it) But everybody's got faith! You just trust in God, and believe that he can do anything and he does! He answers prayers, he's always there to help you, he looks out for you. Everybody knows that!

1:

(In awe) Really, he does all that?

3:

Of course, you just have to have faith.

1:

Are you sure?

3:

Yes.

1:

But we don't all have your gift of faith.

3:

You can still have faith. Trust in the God who made and saved you. Look at him and not your doubts.

1:

Do you think you could tell me more about faith?

3:

(Sounding pleased) Of course, it's my gift, it was given to me. (Grabs it back from counter, says to 2) This is mine, it's my gift. I've got faith! (To 1) Now, what did you want to know? (Both exit together, 2 smiles, shakes head and follows)