RUFUS:

(As George clambers awkwardly past him to next seat) Hi.

GEORGE:

(Sitting down) Hi. I'm George. (Holding out hand)

RUFUS:

(Shaking hand) I'm Rufus. (Uncomfortable pause) Err . . . well . . . how are you doing?

GEORGE:

Fine. You?

RUFUS:

(Nervously) Actually I hate flying.

GEORGE:

Is this your first time?

RUFUS:

No, I fly all the time. It's just that I don't have faith in these planes.

GEORGE:

But surely they know what they're doing?

RUFUS :

(Getting worked up) Hah! If they knew what they were doing they wouldn't have to have those nice little talks before you take off about where all the exits are and what to do when the plane crashes!

GEORGE:

We're not going to crash!

RUFUS:

No? You should see the statistics! More people die in plane crashes than falling out of trees! And if by some miracle you don't crash, economy clash syndrome is sure to kill you!

GEORGE:

But the staff are all highly trained.

RUFUS:

Hah! The flight attendants are only doing this because they're too short to be models and couldn't make it as a proper waitress or waiter.

GEORGE:

But the pilots!

RUFUS:

(Really worked up) The pilots! The pilots! They're only in it for the money. They couldn't even fly the plane without autopilot!

GEORGE:

You've just got to have a bit of faith.

RUFUS:

(Hysterical) Faith won't save us. We're all going to die! We're going to die for sure! (Grabbing George by the shoulders and shaking him) Save yourself! Save yourself! Get out of here while you still can!

VOICE:

Please fasten your seatbelts. This plane is now ready for take-off.

RUFUS:

(Looking at watch and calming down) Whoops, sorry, I've got to go.

GEORGE:

Where?

RUFUS:

(Standing up) To the cockpit.

GEORGE:

To see the pilot?

RUFUS:

I am the pilot. (Exits. George looks horrified, gets up and runs off)