Characters

1:        Lost.

2:

Young man—very enthusiastic

3:

‘Cool dude’ (like something from Wayne’s World)

4:

Older gentleman—very business-like, pompous and definite

5:

Woman—gooey, soft, ‘in love’

6:

Woman—very trendy (maybe in jogging outfit), exaggerated voice, waves arms about as she talks

7:

Young person—casual, ‘normal’

1:

(Enters and stands under sign/sign-post) Now which way do I go?

1:

(To 2) Hi! Do you know which way is best? (Pointing at sign)

2:

Sure. I recommend that way. (Pointing)

1:

What’s there?

2:

Every young man’s desire.

1:

What’s that (Keen)

2:

Girls!

1:

Girls?

2:

Yeah, pretty girls! One for every day of the year, or night for that matter. There’s a whole smorgasbord out there, just waiting to be tasted. It’s great to be young and virile! No commitments, no ties, just plenty of (Elbows 1) ‘you know what!’ That’s the life for me!

1:

What about friendship and love and lifetime companionship?

2:

Who needs it! Live for today! You can worry about those things when you’re old and had it. Nope, there’s nothin’ like the smell of perfume or that ‘look across the crowded room’ to get the blood racing. What more could you want?

1:

How about something deeper?

2:

Na! I don’t have time. All my time and energies are devoted to the pursuit of the next body rush. Speaking of which, (Looks at imaginary girl walking by) did you get a load of that babe! (Whistles, removes arrow from sign-post and exits)  Hey darlin’, where you been all my life? (1 watches and shakes head. Turns back to sign and scratches head)

3:

(To 1) Hey, dude!

1:

Hey! Hey—do you know which way?

3:

Sure, man! That way. But I warn you, it sucks. You’ll need some help.

1:

Like what?

3:

Reality enhancers.

1:

What?

3:

Drugs and alcohol, man. Life’s so mundane, it needs a kick. Here try some. (Offers some pills to 1)

1:

(Looks really dubious) No, thanks

3:

At least have a drink. Liven up! What’s life if it’s not one big party? A few drinks, a smoke—makes ya feel good. That’s what ya want isn’t it? My motto’s: If it feels good—do it, man!

1:

But does it last?

3:

Depends how much ya have! Ya need to relax, dude! Here, I’ve got some of Mum’s Valium in here somewhere (Searches pockets, pulls out old wrappers etc)  Or perhaps ya want an upper?

1:

Uh, no thanks.

3:

Ya sure?

1:

I’m sure

3:

Be seeing ya. (Removes arrow from sign-post, calls back as exiting)  Hey, there’s a big bash at David’s tonight if you want to come.

1:

There must be another way!

4:

Lost, hey? Well, down that way is the safest, straightest road you’ll find.

1:

Yeah? What’s there?

4:

Hard work!

1:

Hard work? (Not very impressed)

4:

You can’t beat hard work. Get a job, boy!. We were born to work!

1:

Why?

4:

Why? So you can afford to get married and settle down.

1:

Why?

4:

So you can buy a home—it’s the Australian dream.

1:

Why?

4:

So you can feed and educate and clothe your kids.

1:

Kids? (Horrified)  But why?

4:

Fulfil your commitment.

1:

To who?

4:

To yourself, boy, to your family, to society.

1:

But is that all there is? You’re born, you work, and then you die?

4:

You’re looking at it all wrong, boy!  Think of the security. Think of the satisfaction. Just look at me. Never had a sick day in my life. Anyway, haven’t got time for all this frivolity and nonsense. Go that way. Work, work, work. Then you won’t have time to even worry about which way you’re going! (Removes arrow from sign-post and exits. 1 shakes head, even more confused)

5:

Fall in love and get married. Start a family. It’s the way we all want to go. To ‘fall in love and live happily ever after’.

1:

I’ve yet to see it come true.

5:

Don’t be such a cynic. My last two marriages didn’t live happily ever after… but do you see me giving up? Mind you, I’m really in love this time. And I’m so much more understanding than his wife! I just know we’re going to be happy forever! It’s just the best thing. That gooey feeling in your stomach. The way he looks into my eyes. Ohhh! (Big sigh)

1:

(To audience)  Yuk!

5:

Got to go—we’re going to watch the sunset together… Bye. (Removes arrow from sign-post and exits, 1 shakes head again)

6:

Hello, darling (Very exaggerated, points). That way is the only way.

1:

And what’s down there. (Very cynical)

6:

The beautiful people, of course. You could be one of us too, darling. Wear only the best clothes. Exercise all the time (Jogs on spot), sit in cafes, drink, pretend to eat, throw up if you need to. This is the only body you’ll ever have, darling—so preen it, and prune it (Snip away at hips of 1) and parade it! You know you would look fabulous in magenta. Got to rush. Chow, darling. (Removes arrow from sign-post and exits)

1:

(Grimace)  It all seem so fruitless. What’s the point of any of i? You live, you die, and in between you either work yourself to the bone or make a fool of yourself.

7:

Jesus says ‘I am the way, the truth and the life...Those that believe in me shall have eternal life.’

1:

(Interested) What’s that you’re talking about?

7:

Jesus also says: ‘My purpose is to give life in all its fullness.’

1:

That’s what I want!  Life in all its fullness! Which way are you going?

7:

That way. (Points to sign-post which is now a cross and exits)

1:

I wonder...(Follows after 7)  Hey wait! Do you mind if I check this way out? Wait up! I want to ask you something...

1:

Mind if I check it out?

7:

Not at all. Mind if I walk with you? (1 and 7 exit talking)